The Most Unusual Meal


It took me a while, as this one almost stumped me. I don’t really remember having a particularly unusual meal. Then I remembered this one, which I’ll write up as a recipe:

Serves three, or one bachelor for three days.


  • 4 cups water
  • 1 TBS margarine
  • ¾ cup frozen onion/pepper mix
  • Wal-Mart Great Value Chicken Stuffing Mix
  • Wal-Mart Great Value Chicken Flavor Pasta & Sauce
  • Idahoan Four Cheese Mashed Potatoes

Bring water and margarine to a boil in a medium saucepan.

Add package of Chicken Flavor Pasta & Sauce.

Add the frozen onion/pepper mix because, oh, what the heck. Onions and peppers are good.

Continue boiling over medium heat for seven minutes, stirring occasionally and wondering if it is supported to look so soupy.

Realize you used a 2 cup measure instead of a 1 cup measure, which means there is twice the water that’s supported to be in there.

Panic and search the cupboard for more pasta.

Finding none, throw in the stuffing mix because — what the heck — it’s been in the cupboard for at least two years now.

Determine that it still looks too soupy to eat, so search for something else you can throw in to soak up the water.

Discover the package of Idahoan Four Cheese Mashed Potatoes and wonder how long that’s been up there.

Stir in the entire package.

Describe over the phone how disgusting it looks to your girlfriend. Wince as she laughs hysterically at you.

Take it off the heat and let it congeal as you look up the phone number of the local pizza delivery place.

Right before you dial the pizza number, you take an experimental taste.

Surprise! It’s delicious!

Wash it down with a bottle of good beer.

Yes, this is a true story, and really did turn out good enough to eat.



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