A waiter walked up to the table
Wearing a suit jacket that was far too small—
There was no way he could button it, and the
Sleeves came halfway up to his elbows
He sported a overlarge red bow tie
Black curly hair with oil in it, and
A large, obviously fake mustache
Which curled in waxed spirals at the ends.

“May I take your order, please?” he asked.

Before we could answer
A nude woman holding a pomegranate, with a
Bayoneted rifle slung over her shoulder
And flanked by two huge yellow and black tigers
Complained that she had been stung by a bee
And wanted her money back.

We sat for eleven minutes waiting
Then realized that ants were eating the silverware.

This is an excerpt from the show “Don’t Quit Your Day Job”

“After a prolific and esteemed career, Sir Arthur has passed away in Sri Lanka.”

Clarke’s books were the first real SF I read.  It was Tom Swift > James Bond > Arthur Clarke.

This is a sad day for our genre, but who knows … if there an “other side” to this existence, he is now on his most adventurous odyssey.

- Jerry 

I stumbled upon this and thought it was a new form of vanity press.  Well, it is, and it isn’t.

This is a rather gray area market which is seeking previously published works of fiction (up to 50,000 words).  Your work has to be accepted, and when it is, it goes into the digital equivalent of a big pile at the center of the website.

Readers then comb through the stories, figure out which ones look interesting, and add them to their custom built anthology.  When their anthology is full, the reader picks a pretty picture for the cover, ads a title, forks over $14.95 and a freshly minted copy of the book is POD’ed and sent directly to them through the mail.

If they choose one of your stories (or one of your covers, for you artists out there) your account gets credited a set royalty for the sale.

I have my doubts about the ultimate viability of this business model, but you never know.  It could be the next big thing.

Did I submit any of my previously published stories to AnthologyBuilder.com?  No, I did not.  Legit or not it still smells of vanity press to me.

Back in March of last year, I had signed on to my dream job, or at least what I thought was my dream job:  Full Time Writer

But now I have my uber-dream job:  Digital Marketing Specialist.

Now it’s back to most of my writing being for my own projects.  What I’m doing professionally, now, is being a sort of hands-on project manager for several large important corporate websites.

I love creating websites, as you can no doubt tell from my large collection of them.

And now I won’t be burning up all my writing fuel cells at work, which means more writing on these blogs again, and more time spent on my novel.

I am honored to be one of the guest writers / publishers at ConDFW 2008 this weekend.  Anyone showing up can find me on the following panels:

Saturday 10 am    Panel Room 2 (Rose/Magnolia)
Does Fantasy Mean Paranormal?
Hosted by Jerry J. Davis, Lillian Stewart Carl, Lee Killough and Nina Romberg.

Industry Pros discuss the difference between the genres of fantasy and paranormal fiction.  Are these just synonyms or are there real differences?    How does understanding the difference help you to get published?

Saturday 11 am    Panel Room 4 (Pecan)
Starting Your Own Publishing Company
Hosted by Jerry Davis, Glenn Yeffeth, and Thomas W. Knowles.

Sure … sure … everybody wants to be the writer.   But writers never get anything in print without the unsung hero of the industry – the publisher.    Industry pros discuss the career of publishing, what it takes to enter this field and what it takes to succeed.

Saturday 12 pm    Reading Room (Live Oak)
The author will be reading.

Saturday 1 pm        Panel Room 2 (Rose/Magnolia)
The Haunted City:  Urban Fantasy Today
Hosted by Rachel Caine, Jerry J. Davis, Carole Nelson Douglas, Brad Sinor, and Lee Killough

Industry pros discuss the urban fantasy genre.   What makes this style essential, vital, beautiful and what needs to be paved over?    And is there any room left in this haunted city?

Sunday 12 pm        Panel Room 2 (Rose/Magnolia)    
Published in the Periodicals: The Sci-Fi/Fantasy Magazine Market
Hosted by Lou Antonelli, Jerry J. Davis, Linda Donahue, Rhonda Eudaly and J.M. McDermott

Industry pros discuss the getting published in magazines.    Who is really looking?   What are the really exciting markets?   And what can you do to maximize your chances of escaping from the slush pile?

Short stories are harder to write than novels.  It’s a completely different mindset and style, and if you’ve been writing novel scenes and then suddenly try to write a short story … your short story will be 30,000 words before you realize it.

If you ever do want to tackle it, think of it like this.  Try to write a story within the structure of poem (a cinquain or a string of two or three haiku).  Then use that as your outline for the short story.  Shoot for 4000 words or less.

It can be very Zen, and after a while the challenge will be like doing a really fun puzzle.  "How can I fit the story into this little box?"  By paring it down to only the very essential parts.  Nothing more.

- Quoting myself from a comment I left to a writer
friend on her blog, which I thought I’d share
with everyone else

You know those hilarious "Demotivator" posters put out by Despair, Inc.?  Here’s a publisher called Knock Knock Books who put out hilarious anti-self-help books in the same vein.  I already showcased their guide to procrastinating on GroovyMojo, but here I wanted to honor the one I think is the most brilliant.

The Complete Manual of THINGS THAT MIGHT KILL YOU.

From their website:  "Hypochondriacs have long had to satisfy their needs for self-diagnosis with medical reference materials written for the masses, but this revolutionary book is dedicated entirely to the hypochondriac’s unique perspective on health. The world’s worst maladies, conveniently organized by symptom (real or imagined), will ignite even the mildest hypochondriac’s fantasy life. We’re all going to die of something—why not choose an ailment that’s rare and hard to pronounce?"

It features: 

• Profiles of over 300 deadly diseases
• Organized by symptom for ease of self-diagnosis
• At-a-glance ratings system of contagion, pain, suffering, and death
• Fascinating spotlights on terrifying medical phenomena

Society is not doomed so long as humor survives.  This book just might save your life.

I’m working seriously on my current novel, back in the saddle after only lightly touching it for the past six months.

I write a bit, then have to check email. I write a bit, or — worse — just stare at the screen a bit, then decide I have to go read a blog or two. Or go get my hourly fix from that new SF website called io9.com (it’s crack for SF&F fans, I’m completely hooked).

Then I write a page or two, and think … wow, I’m lonely.

Sometimes I sit at Starbucks with my friend William Ledbetter, both of us whacking happily away at our laptop keyboards, each working on our various stories or projects. That, I realize, is when I’m most at ease with my writing. Writing is best done with a partner, even if you’re working on separate projects.

I remember my college days when I and a loose knit group of writing friends would all hang out at the local restaurant for hours, scribbling away with paper and pencil. Breaking every once in a while to ask a question or to read a passage. Those were the days.

And now I’ll return to writing my novel, and see how long I can go without interrupting myself like this again.