Water to Wine = Beer?
Well, spending the night alone with a spaceship in the middle of a big quiet ballroom is proving to be very inspiring! I’ve made a lot of progress on my novel since last night. Not so much in wordage, but rather with research and complexity of plotting.
I’ve found out some very interesting things that support my contentions in my fantasy novel. Interesting to me, at least — interesting to find that my flights of fantasy are not only possible, but also shared by other people.
Interesting contention number one: Beer was around long before wine. Sumerian grain farmers seem to have discovered beer almost immediately after discovering how to make bread, and probably by accident. You get bread wet, and under the right circumstances, you’ll end up with beer.
Interesting contention number two: Jesus Christ was a beer brewer. Being that beer was, back in those days, something made by priests and considered to be holy, there is a lot of evidence that could easily be interpreted to show that not only was Jesus a brewer, but the texts referring to him turning “water into wine” actually referred to him turning water into beer. Which makes sense because that’s what a brewer does. When the Greeks first translated the bible from ancient Hebrew they lacked a word for “beer” and so instead used the word “wine” in its place. They probably thought it didn’t make any difference. Both drinks are alcoholic, and besides, the Greeks were wine making fools. Thus leading to…
Interesting contention number three: There exists a couple thousand-year old conspiracy by the wine industry, started by the wine (not beer) loving Greeks, to cover up the fact that Jesus drank beer instead of wine during the last supper. Thus, there could very well have been beer instead of wine in the Holy Grail!
Another discovery I made tonight was the existence of Ninkasi, the Sumerian goddess of beer. I have a character in the novel who — it will turn out — is actually Ninkasi.
All of this puts a delightfully wonderful spin on the plot and brings it full circle. And, even better, I don’t have to change anything I’ve already written. It all fits.
So, to wrap it up, it’s about 4am here in the Crystal Ballroom, and I’m still sitting three feet away from a spaceship, and I’ve just discovered that, no, my eyes are not playing tricks on me. I figured it was just because I am tired, that I keep thinking I’m seeing things moving out of the corner of my eyes.
Nope. Something is moving, all right. I’m not alone in the Crystal Ballroom.
There is a mouse scurrying along the walls.
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