September 2006

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Starting Again

Staring at that big blank page again, but this is one of the biggest blank pages I’ve ever faced. Writer’s block? I’ve dealt with that before. It’s nothing, I thought. Just a slight bump in a long line of bumps down this road, this gauntlet that is the “writing life.”

This time it’s something even bigger.  It’s like I’m starting all over again.

A friend of mine spoke of a book called Writing Down The Bones which I’d heard about but never read … at the Allen Library this week I picked it up.  Looks like exactly what I need, exactly when I need it.

Life’s like that, I’ve noticed.

I did it, I went back and purged all unfinished manuscripts that were holding me back.  That included first drafts that required extensive reworking.  They’re history now.  I have a clean slate.

All manuscripts that I’ve been circulating, I will continue to circulate.

Instead of showing up for the parties at FENCON as I’d planned, I went out “writing” with my daughters.  We sat at the local Steak ‘n Shake for over three hours as we scribbled in our notebooks.  I worked on the start of something new.

In the mail today, I received the official acceptance letter from Yard Dog Press for my latest sale, as well as contracts to sign, and a request for minor revisions on the manuscript.  That will all be done tomorrow.

For now, sleep.

I don’t know how many years ago, but I remember it being dark in the warehouse, about 2 in the morning, and we were sitting around a fire we’d built in a old iron drum. Three of us, all writers, all having decided we need a fresh start, sat around this fire in this old warehouse, with all the windows knocked out and a cold breeze blowing through, huddled in our jackets and drinking can after can of “Dying Trout” beer.

We fed the flames with manuscript pages

One page after another. Original pages. No backup copies anywhere.

Everything that came before tied us down. It was all part of that million words of crap anyway. Page by page I got rid of stacks of typed notes, crappy horrid stories, and at least two novel manuscripts. Good ideas, maybe, but horrendous writing.

Do I ever regret doing that? No. The fresh start it gave my writing was worth burning all that work.

Do I want to do it again?

Yes.

That’s my big plan for this weekend.

Something very good happened on this date.

Back in 1959, the mother of my kids was born. This is her birthday. Since then, this date that used to be one of joy has turned ominous and sorrowful, but I must call attention to the fact that good and positive things also happened on this date, and we must remember those things as well.

Happy Birthday Becky!

Why does pain exist?  Is it to teach us lessons?  Help us to survive?  Is it a defense mechanism used by our sense of self-preservation?  That’s generally the accepted theory.  We evolved pain to help us survive, because we are wired to avoid that which causes us pain. 

What doesn’t make sense to me is that some pains are so deep that they make you wish you were dead.

How did we evolve that as a survival trait?  The wish to not survive?  Is it just bad programming?

When this pain hits animals, I guess they just lay down and die.  Some humans do the same.  The ones who survive use their human intellect to circumvent the bad biological programming and carry on despite the overwhelming pain.

Thank God for intellect.

Even though I haven’t been doing much fiction writing lately, I still have stories in circulation, and I got word yesterday that one of them sold. My Sci-Fi parody It Came From Willy McCracken’s Buttocks will be appearing in next year’s Yard Dog Press anthology Houston, We Have Bubbas.

I am very happy to be a new member of the Yard Dog family!

  1. Contrary to popular belief, multitasking is not a good thing to do.  Doing one thing at a time, and doing that one thing well, is much better.
     
  2. We should all think of time as sacred.  Because it is.
     
  3. As much as humanly possible, live in the moment.
     
  4. High speed Internet access allows you to waste your time more efficiently.
     
  5. Be nice to people.  Be even nicer to people who are mean to you.  People learn by example.
     
  6. If you’re going to try to get more done in a shorter amount of time, do it so that you have more time to do nothing at all.  If you’re getting more done so that you have time to do more things, you’re not doing anything to really improve your quality of life.
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